Want a fact? Here, have a 2,000-word article

Have you ever tried to look up something simple like “How long does an avocado last in the fridge?” only to end up reading a doctoral thesis-worthy essay? Because websites, in their infinite generosity, just can’t give you the answer straight up. How boring would that be? No, my friend. First, they tell you: The history of the avocado, from the Aztecs to why they killed Kennedy. The author’s personal life story, how they discovered avocados, and how it changed their relationship with their aunt. An existential reflection about the fleeting nature of life... and ripe fruit. Three recipes nobody asked for. And finally, in paragraph 47, sandwiched between two ads and an autoplay video: “An avocado lasts 2–3 days refrigerated.” 😐 Why do they do this? Easy: SEO The longer the article, the happier the search engines are. And if they sprinkle in phrases like “avocado in the fridge,” “avocado ripeness,” “brown avocado is bad,” even better. Because the algorithm needs to be fed... with text. Lots of text. Ads, those blessed ads Every scroll is gold. More text = more space for ads that take half an hour to load and make your phone sound like a jet engine. But hey, it’s free! Clickbait and dwell time They want you to stay reading, crying, questioning your existence, because Google loves when a reader is trapped in a spiral of useless information. So next time you search “What day is Black Friday?” get ready for a narrative journey from the origins of capitalism to the author’s childhood trauma of not getting a PlayStation in 2003.